Having been involved in raising a child of my own, i find it impossible to imagine how difficult it must be for two men to raise a child. I found myself utterly clueless at newborn stage and what came naturally to my wife, was a bigger mystery than the alleged holy trinity to me. My wife, for example, could hear certain tones in the babies voice and instantly knew that it needs comfort, food, is tired or just wants some attention. It makes complete sense when you think about it. She had been carrying this child for 9 months prior, forming what is arguably the strongest bond known to the animal kingdom, that is the bond between a mother and her baby.
Of course it is possible for men to raise children these days and cater for the physical needs of a baby with formula milk now readily available at every supermarket and they can obviously comfort them to a certain extent, but what effect could it have on that child not having a mother (or mother figure) in their lives. Can a father replace the role of a mother? To many the answer is so blindingly obvious that they have probably stopped reading by now, however, there is a growing number of ideologists who are attempting to push their selfish and irrational ideas into the very policies which govern us through the state.
The real question in this article which i will attempt to answer is this: What effect would it have on a child if he or she is raised by two men?
Comfort & Security
Those of us lucky enough to have been raised primarily by our mother during the early years of our lives will likely have remembered the comfort and security provided. If we hurt our leg jumping off rocks, it was our mothers who knew just how to comfort us and it was mainly through her words and touch that we felt better.
While some fathers do a reasonably good job of this (nowhere near as good as mothers), it is more about who the words and the comfort comes from. An example of what i mean can be found in adulthood, we choose to confide in friends and family because their words mean a lot more than a strangers. It’s the same with mothers when young. Her words mean more to us than anyone elses, even if they say the exact same thing as that other person did.
Imagine having that wonderful bond taken away at such a vulnerable age. Children without mothers do not develop half as well emotionally and they tend to struggle to form relationships later on in life.
As sure as you can be that birds will migrate south for the winter, so too, does a mother look after her young. They have what is best described as the maternal instinct, they know perfectly well what is best for their babies at all times and for them (most of them) it is built into their sub consciousness so much that they just do it, without having to think about what they are doing.
Whether its a god given gift or has developed over the course of millions of years is irrelevant. It is without a doubt the biggest advantage a mother has when raising their young.
Men do not possess this wonderful trait. Try as we might (and we do try incredibly hard) we constantly get things wrong and make the wrong judgement calls.
This obviously takes its toll on the child who ends up distressed and confused if not given what they need, when they need it.
Women WANT to be the primary caregivers
Another truism which gets purposely forgotten in this debate is the fact that, by and large, women want to look after their children and men often don’t want to do it alone.
When someone actually wants to do something, they generally do a far better job of it than an opposing person who does not want to.
This is evidentially true when you look into the numbers of single mothers. They often choose to be the primary carers of the children while the men are only too willing to oblige and see them at the weekends!
So there we have it. Of course two men could, in theory raise a child but the reality is that he/she would be at a serious disadvantage if they did.
Have you see anything that you disagree with? Drop your comment below.